Water Warning
If you look upon a bottle of spring, filtered, or mineral water you will likely find an "expiration date." If you have made an observation regarding this in past, you likely have shrugged it off as "just something every food product is required to have."But, such is not the case. Do you see expiration dates on fresh fruits and vegetables? Of course not.
So why is there an expiration date on your bottled water? The truth is frightening and worthy of much more media attention than even Global Climate Change.
Our intrepid DTSD reporter, Walter B. Aloo, spoke with the mouthpieces of several different water bottling companies. Each time he never got the same answer;
"The government makes us put something on."
"It really pertains to the plastic the water is in."
"It's to discourage hoarding."
After further probing and speaking with scientists to verify any of the veracity behind any of the answers, Wally finally found a Scientist willing to speak, but only upon guarantee of anonymity. The truth is that all of the water on the planet earth will expire and "go bad" sometime during the last four months of 2009.
There is hope though. The Mars expeditions have found signs of possible water. Also, as Global Climate Change continues to melt our polar ice, we may be able to mix in enough fresh water to stem off the water expiration for a few more years.
We here at the DTSD urge readers to remain calm. We're confident that our Scientific leaders will find a solution before the general public even realizes there ever was a calamity. Until then, though, you may want to reconsider that land purchase in New Jersey. As Wally said at our staff meeting; "I can only imagine what Jersey will smell like when the water expires..."
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